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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?